Praying to an invisible God

Ben Towne passed away.   There it is...such a simple statement but something that calls into existence much of what I believe.  Now I barely knew the Townes and I have really only followed the story from afar through blogs, and friends, and church community.  But yet this is a story that permeates through my very being -- I suppose more for what it says about God than anything else.

I have grown up in a fairly Conservative wing of the Presbyterian Church -- strong on the Bible, theology, and the tenets of Calvinism.  However, the miraculous often escapes us.  It  is not that we explicitly deny it, but we leave it hanging awkwardly in the distance not knowing quite what to do with it.  There is nothing that will challenge these notions quite like spending a little time abroad.  I have been propheshized to, seen the speaking of tongues, and witnessed a semi-exoricism among other things.  This has kicked off an internal struggle (as the Rev D. J. McKelvey can attest to) as to who God is and the role that God plays in the here and now.

And so that brings me back to Ben.  I prayed for the Towne family -- not just for the standard requests of comfort and support for the family but that God would heal this little boy.  I hoped that faith as small as a mustard seed and the prayers of hundreds of others would prove a testament to the living God.  

And now I'm left to wonder what it all means.  I was heartbroken at some of the posts I read from this family who was desperately grasping for air.  I know that you can't pick and choose with these things; trajedy, war and strife are as old as the Earth (just look at Israel) and faith has perservered.  But still, faith is supposed to mean something; the prayers of the people should change things; the hand of God should be everpresent.   I can recite a well versed and coherent arugument to the contary, but you know what...I just don't understand.

A funny thing happened while I was writing that last paragraph.  I have often bemused by the Psalms and how the Psalmist can curse and question God and yet come full cirlce to praise Him at the very end.  It is a natural part of faith.  You have to have a forum to question God, but then you have to realize your place.  I sometimes feel like the disciples...at the point when everyone else has deserted Jesus and he asks if they will to.  Peter answers that they have nowhere to go -- not exactly a glowing endorsement but a moment of genuine vulnerability.  For better or worse, I'm in this for the long haul.  Glory be to God in the Highest.  Amen.